B772ER

2007-11-23T22:54:00.000+08:00

Lets101 Quizzes - Cool Meme

haha this is quite interesting..

2007-10-19T22:50:00.000+08:00

really tired la as usual. and im sick. i've had sore throat and cough for the past wk, refused to go see MO and now i have a cold. nose blocked like anything and i've been feeling woozy the whole day, though the throat doesnt hurt so much now. shall see how i survive this wkend. guess i'll havta go see the MO on mon.

2007-10-15T19:57:00.000+08:00

i'm really really tired. seeing how events have turned out recently. both physically and mentally. though what i'm going through cant be compared to the folks at nus archi, to me it has been totally crazy..

need i say more? :/

2007-09-16T21:41:00.000+08:00

whoa its been like 2 weeks. so much for not being lazy to blog. haha. at least the past 2 weeks haven't been that hectic so im really thankful for that. having 4 day week rocks. thanks to clearing off and taking leave here and there. unfortunately i guess i wont be having the luxury of that from now onwards though. (unless more off days come my way)

6 mths have passed since i enlisted. amazingly fast really. can't wait to finish up the 1.5 years that i have left. come to think about it, i never expected the days to go by so quickly. i can still remember enlistment day and all the sian faces, the 3 months of BMT, the horrors of field camp, the eager anticipation of early ROs etc, and whatever i've been doing so far in my current place. all these memories are still so vivid and fresh in my mind.

what has this 6 months done for me so far? unfortunately i feel that i've become more cynical over the months seeing first hand how the organization works. as much as i try to make full use of my time there, one can't help but feel stifled and suppressed in an organization where rank is everything and other things are secondary to that, a place where there is no appreciation for extra effort, only disciplinary action. its things like this that make you just want to do the bare minimum possible, to cover your ass so to speak.

well enough of my ranting alr i guess. other than that my life has been as boring as usual (why am i not suprised, hahaha).

2007-09-01T09:44:00.001+08:00

haha wow a whole new month alr. the past week has been quite slack, thank goodness for that. every day it rains we can't work so we just sit around and do nothing much. and we've been doing a lot of that for the past few days! haha what a change from the tiring work that i've been accustomed to over the weeks. hmm it's been 2 months since i was first posted there, heard that i'm going out soon. don't know when tho.

haha the parade last wk was kinda slack. rehearse sleep eat rehearse sleep rehearse fall out. basically that sums up the whole thing. but still our standard was there of cos, lest u accuse us of being sloppy and everything. CDF was a no-show after all, but still, seeing 2 generals at such a small scale parade really shows how impt tht institute is! and i got my one off day which has yet to be claimed. haha. probably next wk!

i'm tired as usual la, what's new. when am i ever not tired anyway. haha.

2007-08-22T19:45:00.001+08:00

so i was wrong. it's not RSAF day parade after all. it's a parade for the inauguration of SMII. aka SAF military intelligence parade. quite a small scale parade tho with like only slightly above a 100 people in the marching contingent? but the matter of the fact is tt bigshots are gonna be aplenty on the actual day! generals and crabs swarming ard the place! COA and CDF are coming down so the pressure is more intense! today till friday are rehearsals, actual parade is on friday evening! so by the time i get home on friday it'll be insanely late! oh well. looking forward to the off days that we'll be getting hopefully!

it's amazing how i have lost 6 months of my life to the SAF and it still feels like only yesterday.

that aside, i've been going out quite a fair bit. so lots of stuff to distract me from the nonsense and pressures (not like there's much pressure but it does get VERY TIRING and mundane) at work. from shooting photographs of fireworks and getting muddy feet in the process, to random late night jaunts at geylang for food (what were u guys thinking HUH) to cell grp bbq over the weekend. yayness! though its been a long-drawn week all these activities have certainly served to refresh my spirit so to speak. haha.

my work now is no walk in the park, but i must admit, compared to other guys i've alr gotten the better deal. so i shall just be thankful for what i have i guess! (:

2007-08-14T22:20:00.001+08:00

wow i just got informed that i'm gonna be involved in RSAF day parade. probably some small thing at murai camp or tengah air base.. i don't know exactly what yet. well the last time i ever took part (or anyone who enlisted in mar/apr for that matter) in a parade was during BMT! haha. ages ago la. though i can remember the commands and stuff but standing in the hot sun aint a joke! at least its not in cardboard-like no.4 uniform so yeah. i'm FINALLY getting to wear my no.3 for once (HAHAHA getting excited over sth so minor as that, gee.)

rehearsals are next week so that will mean time away from the workplace (and hopefully a lot of OFF days too heh). haha well its a break from routine in a way so i'm quite grateful for that i guess (: something new to experience and to look forward to!

you know its only been two days and i'm already so worn out. AND I HAVEN'T EVEN DONE MUCH AT ALL. must have been the extended weekend last week that made me so soft. though i must say having that long break felt really really good. wonder how tired i would have been had there been no break. basically my life at work has been revolving around painting vehicles so its getting a little monotonous. but it seems there isnt much to do except all these necessary stuff, so i guess i don't really have much of a choice until sth new comes in i guess.

2007-08-10T09:00:00.000+08:00

hahah im blogging at weird hours again. cos most of my unit is on OFF today. yup, every NSF's favourite 3-letter word. don't know why i'm up so early though. thanks to sleeping 7 hours every night i think my body clock has been adjusted. gahh. there goes my chances of sleeping in every weekend!

the past week has been revolving ard the same old thing. painting land rovers. i've been going home with paint all over my clothes and my hands. ok i exaggerate. i clean up my hands before goin home of cos. but i dont have much of a choice when it comes to dirty clothes. 3 more vehicles to finish up painting and we're done. can't wait to wash my hands off this project! haha.

i want my posting to come sooner! it's getting somewhat meaningless doing all these kinda stuff for so long! argrhhh!

shit im outta inspiration alr. haha.

2007-08-01T15:20:00.000+08:00

i just out-of-course (OOC) -ed myself from driver course. FFI declared me unfit for driver course until 31/07/2009. that's like after i ORD. gee. so i won't be going over to sembawang camp tmr after all. looks like i gotta be less lazy with this place. hahaha. no excuse already considering i was supposed to stay in for course but now i won't have to.

half day leave during midweek never felt so good. good to have a respite from working once in a while just to keep sane and everything. (:

2007-07-30T22:33:00.000+08:00

gee my course is starting on thursday! it really is super fast la how one week passes by like that. i first got to know of it on monday before i got my MC and now its almost time to go in! course ends on 3 oct. way way too long. and it'll be stay-in with bookout on saturday! gosh. being a trainee really sucks. haha. i want course to be over soon! this means i'm only going to update like sporadically for the next 2 mths. so much for being less lazy. hahaha.

2007-07-24T14:44:00.001+08:00

new layout! haha kinda got bored of the old layout which has been around for like 2 years? yeah long time i know. haha i'm blogging at office hours simply cos i'm on MC for the rest of the week. so i'll just be good and stay at home the whole day! haha. kinda boring tho but i dont have much of a choice i guess? heh. (:

2007-07-21T11:13:00.000+08:00

i need to stop being lazy to update. haha. in my prime i used to update like twice a week, but i'm now doing it once a month. HAHAHA the laziness is simply crazy la. goodness knows what army has done. (ok maybe i should stop blaming army. heh.)

hmm well a lot has happened in the past month i guess. i've been at my current place for a month already! im suprised that it has been so fast. the week flies by without anyone noticing. after all the only thing we look forward to is daily 5.30pm bookout i guess (that makes me love the Air Force even more HAHA). been doing the same old stuff, servicing and washing and all sorts of random things that they conjure up for the group of us waiting for driving course to do. actually it has been quite a mess the past week with people telling me to do all sorts of work. at least that seems to be sorted out right now i guess.

i passed my civilian driving test. so that makes another dangerous driver on the road. got 12 demerit points for my test and all involved safety issues (not checking for safety during reversing, not checking mirror etc). before you dismiss me as unsafe, think again! hahah. i'm not that reckless i feel. u just gotta ride in a car with me at the wheel. haha. at least passing my driving test gives me sth to look forward to and cos its sth i've been wanting to do for the longest time ever. so yeah. thanks for all the prayers and everything cos it really helped loads! (if u read this blog u know who u are! (: )

school's starting again, and i really wish i was going back to school. i'd rather be in school than in army. (haha. which guy wouldn't?) the lack of intellectual stimulation is driving me somewhat nuts. i cant even speak coherently sometimes. goodness. haha. but then again this time round no school accepted me yet, so i shall just continue trying every year (so much for being a NSF u actually get to apply like 2 more times) till something happens.

i need to stop being lazy to update. someone pinch me soon enough before i get lazy again! haha.

2007-06-26T20:04:00.001+08:00

wow. its been a while since i last stepped into this place. seriously a whole lot has happened in the past 2 months? haha. well. let's give you an update of where i am right now. i''m currently serving in the air force! as a driver though. haha well i dont get that nice no. 3 uniform (actually i do, but only 1 set i guess) but at least the hours aren't that bad (it's 8-5.30pm stayout! yay!). i'm very very fortunate compared to the other guys that got into 35SCE (which happen to be like half of bronco, haha) or other units like AETC or riflemen. but how on earth i got this posting is a really really long story that is best reserved over coffee. haha.

well. now all i'm doing daily is just eating and sleeping i guess. waiting for my driving course to begin. pity that i actually took up driving lessons on my own. ah oh well. doesn't really matter cos u cant drive outside on the weekends or after work with only a military license.. weirdly enough i'm always tired though i do get enough sleep. perhaps its the rollover effect from the past week where i was 8-5 at TEKONG of all places..

well i sure hope everything works out fine. (:

2007-04-05T21:46:00.000+08:00

yup im back! second book out. too lazy to update the previous time. plus today i have more free time thanks to the Good Friday holiday. heh. i miss my hair loads. i really look weird without any hair. and i dont think you'd wanna see me without hair cos its really quite.. ugh. haha. 2 weeks of confinement passed really quickly, and the past week was quite fast too, so things haven't been too bad. though confinement is really a pain in the ass.

well, the past 3 weeks have been physical training all the way. every route march is a nightmare because i always feel dizzy or have some other problems, but i cant afford to miss any route marches! sheesh. the other PT sessions arent too bad but when you're really tired from everything, all you wanna do is sleep. and waking up every morning has become a chore.

too bad BMTC functions on a 5.5 day week, which means the next time i'm out will be saturday afternoon. by then i'd probably be half dead from exhaustion i guess. following that is FIELD CAMP and i'll be disappearing for another 2 weeks! gee. ahaha oh well. 9 more weeks of this shit and it'll be over. tired tired tired!

2007-02-22T22:27:00.000+08:00

i have 2 conclusions to make. haha.

1. singaporeans don't need to go visiting during CNY
-OR-
2. singaporeans finish all their visitings freaking early. hahaha.

judging by how full the cinema hall at VivoCity was on the 2nd day of CNY in the evening. 8pm show, Jack Neo's latest movie Just Follow Law. very good movie filled with the oh-so-typical anti-government diatribe that his movies are renowned for. i was suprised to see so many people at GV VivoCity. gee. no wonder its true that Singaporeans are like #1 in terms of movies watched a year.

well well. cny wasn't too bad. did the usual stuff. first 2 days open house as usual. lots of relatives came over so things were quite hectic! and went out visiting on the 3rd day. every cny we burn out. cos there's really so much to do. thank goodness the busy part is over! good time for a well-deserved breather. haha.

i've been marathon-ing driving too, i'm now at stage 2 subject 18 after 9 practical sessions. not too bad progress. i drove 5 hours in a stretch today. but then again 100 minutes really passes by so quickly you don't even feel it. HAHA i know i'm crazy. haha. now i know how taxi drivers feel. it sure isn't fun to have your feet at pedals the whole day, constrained in a seat! managed to get an early final theory date (3 march) which isn't too bad either. hopefully i'll be roaming the streets in august! haha

i'm exhausted. haha. no more driving for this week!

2007-02-17T12:23:00.000+08:00

hmm. seems like driving is revolving around my life right now. i've been to the driving centre like every day the past week and i must say i'm making good progress. 5 lessons so far and i'm 2 modules away from completing stage 1. which i think can be cleared in another 2 lessons. not too shabby. pity the cost though. it's kinda expensive, but oh well.

other than that i only finished my CNY shopping yesterday. very fast huh. haha. what to do, when you're too lazy to go out to shop and haven't got a clue on where to shop at all. ended up trawling marina square and raffles city. got a T-shirt and a short-sleeve shirt, and $100 flies away just like that. haha. i should stop spending too much.

in the meantime, a very happy CNY to everyone!

2007-02-08T16:25:00.000+08:00

hmm wow. not a single post for the month of january. haha. i must be good to not blog for so long. but then again, when you spend every other day at home and other times at work what is there to blog about? haha. well. life has been mundane as usual. i don't dare to go out nowadays cos its really expensive. thanks to adult bus and train fares. what a pain. probably the only times i go out is when i go to church or go to work. other times, i don't dare to imagine the brunt of transport bills on my pocket. hahaha.

oh yeah i finally enrolled for driving. basic theory is next week. SLOW man. fancy waiting 1 month just to get your test date. urggh. that probably indicates how long ago i enrolled. haha. just that i haven't blogged since then. had my first practical lesson today in the circuit and it wasn't too bad. stalled the car a few times but that's about it. and i STILL need to work on my brakes. tend to jam too hard on the brakes. but i'll improve with practice. haha. looking forward to getting my triangle plate in august or september. :D

2006-12-22T11:07:00.000+08:00

wow. i haven't blogged in a good 2 weeks. but hey the past 2 weeks have been super busy lah haha. so yup. last week i spent mainly slacking around. come on. when you have no money to do anything all you can afford is slacking right? haha. then youth camp from 15-18 dec was fantastic. really really enriching i must say.

i've barely got a job, i'm working like twice a week at most for a short number of hours. and the worst part is that its not exactly intellectually stimulating as well. ah well. i dun mind having longer hours actually (think of the $, haha) but i also do want to slack at home so yups.

well well. too bad the tourism industry here needs training before one can apply. darn.

2006-12-08T16:02:00.001+08:00

hmm i don't see a difference between blogger beta and old blogger..

2006-12-06T18:01:00.000+08:00

gosh. the one night which i spent like 2 crazy weeks worrying and thinking about has finally come and gone. haha. yeh prom is over. thankfully i didn't have to spend much. only on a top from zara which was a steal at $60. (since when do u ever see $60 zara shirts? haha. like never!) granted it was a plain black shirt but hey, its a zara shirt. haha. i already had the pants and shoes and borrowed a jacket, so i only spent $60 on prom! AMAZING! i'm just as suprised that i didnt reach 3 digit figures.

pity prom ended so early though. ended up at attica for postprom party though most wanted to boycott. ohwells. got evicted from the club at 3am cos the party ended. how unfortunate. ended up rotting for the next 3 hours at clarke quay playing cards and talking absolute nonsense until 6am. grabbed the first bus home and slept till 12pm. this is going to do my sleep cycle wonders. haha.

well hk was fun. then again when you go holidaying how can it not be fun. haha. didnt buy as much as i expected to but well, its all right. nothing much there interested me anyway. (besides the public buses but tht's another story. haha) i'd go again soon but with different people this time round. always good to go with other people also. more fun in a way i guess, going thru new experiences and stuff. in short i don't regret going to hk at all, especially since this was the first time i'm going abroad for close to a week with friends. yup. whole load of new experiences.

now next phase is to find a job. i can't possibly waste my next 3 months right. hopefully the ducktours thing works out. now i need to know how to write resumés. haha. if not i may just find something else. recommendations people?

2006-11-17T23:09:00.000+08:00

hoho i'm free. like finally. 17 days have come and gone suprisingly fast. thank God i made it through the past 4 days. 8 papers in a week with 7 in 3 days is not something very fun. well. it's over! and i feel kinda aimless now. no idea what to do. besides learning driving of course, and oh yeah, HK too.

2006-11-01T09:53:00.000+08:00

tomorrow is the day. i feel very weird. haha. can't describe it. lol. seriously. i fear that i've not prepared enough really, that all the work i've put in will be insufficient for everything. gaah. i'm hoping that the trend this year is easy papers, after all i've spotted the trend and realised they alternate. haha.

oh yea, i finally got my K800i. hmm. i got a new number too. drop me a message on msn or to my old number and i'll pass my new number to you. haha.

2006-10-01T19:33:00.000+08:00

hmm here i am whining over comparatively trivial things and getting all depressed over it, when other people have far greater things to worry about than i do and have a far greater right to feel depressed or emo. i feel like a selfish, pompous idiot. gosh.

2006-09-21T16:25:00.000+08:00

i really feel all that studying i put in has all gone to waste, seriously. ok, i must admit i haven't put in my best effort. but i did try. i did give something to it. and what i've seen so far really shows me how much i've put in to studies, i guess. it's always the same scenario every exam. it is so saddening. but the best part is that i daresay i put in much more effort this time round compared to previously.

i'm frustrated about and really wonder why some people end up all depressed and stuff when they get much better results. i mean come on. there are more things in life to get depressed over. you may say "studies are of utmost importance now" and that i do not deny. but is it worth getting all sad and bitchy and stuff when you got average marks for a exam. if one gets depressed over a nasty breakup i can understand, but over the chase for academic excellence? gosh.

whatever happened to our thinking man. getting depressed over a slip of paper? getting depressed over crap results? true, i do admit i'm dismayed, but not to the extent of depression! this is all a unfortunate byproduct of our local education system, sadly. have we all become mindless robots only interested in the paper chase? i wonder and i fear.

42 more days left. 6 weeks to turn my life around. this may be my last post in a long while.

2006-09-20T19:03:00.000+08:00

hoho. i did this enegram test thing. actually it is quite true i feel. some are just plain "huh?". haha. here's for you guys to see.

you chose CX - your Enneagram type is TWO.

"I must help others"

Helpers are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people's needs.

How to Get Along with Me (this whole portion is so true. gosh. YES YES. no kidding.)
Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
Share fun times with me.
Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
Let me know that I am important and special to you.
Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships (not that i'm in one, so i can't judge. haha)
Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
Reassure me often that you love me.
Tell me I'm attractive and that you're glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a Two
being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
being generous, caring, and warm
being sensitive to and perceptive about others' feelings
being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What's Hard About Being a Two
not being able to say no
having low self-esteem
feeling drained from overdoing for others
not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
being upset that others don't tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

Twos as Children Often
are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
are outwardly compliant
are popular or try to be popular with other children
act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Twos), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Twos)

Twos as Parents (can't tell for now! haha)
are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren't)
are often playful with their children
wonder: "Am I doing it right?" "Am I giving enough?" "Have I caused irreparable damage?"
can become fiercely protective

haha, take it too at http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=6711512663497470889

2006-09-11T12:35:00.000+08:00

at the rate i'm blogging, it really is one post a month. haha. and it's not like i've cut down my internet time drastically. i mean, i'm still online at least 1h a day. i think i'm addicted to msn and itunes. now that's a real scary thought. considering i can just have my msn and itunes open and sitting there for hours on end. hmm. i must cut this habit. but then again next year i'd probably have more free time on my hands. so yeah. but for the next 2 months at least.

the thought that everything will be over in 2 months and 6 days scares me. and i'm in the midst of prelims. and you'll ask "what am i doing blogging?" simply because i feel bored and have nothing to do? haha. ok. not exactly nothing. i have physics to study for. and math and econs. then it'll be round 1 over with round 2 looming in hmm, 40-odd days from now. DAMN SCARY SHIT. though i really can't wait for it to be over *liberation!* haha yup. could do with a good 2 month break and oh of course, DRIVING LESSONS :D

been using the ipod for a month already, not much issues with it other than battery life. perhaps cos i blast my music real loud. and it has acquired some scratches on the bottom :S will affect the resale value if i decide to get a touchscreen ipod next year. yup.

ok, enough of the ipod, now lets talk about prelims. whoever came out with the idea of having half the prelims before holidays, and the other half after holidays, ought to be shot. im sure there are good intentions (the week in between is meant for studying, no doubt, and to give us all a breather, i guess). but sadly by doing so our momentum is cut (unless you're a super mugger who mugs 24/7 without having to ever stop, or "break" does not exist in your vocab). its like. comeon its the holidays. who studies during the holidays? (hmm, perhaps its people like us who lead such miserable lives that study during the hols.) and its not easy to gain the momentum back! that's why i've slacked away HALF the hols. bad bad bad. ughhh.

chem 3 today. nothing good or bad to say. don't wish to comment lest it demoralizes me. haha. (as if im demoralized that easily, LOL)

2006-08-14T18:00:00.000+08:00

i haven't been here in a month. nothing much has happened. oh besides the fact i screwed up block test 2. and that prelims are exactly 2 weeks away.

oh yes i bought a 30gb white ipod video. paid $470 for the thing, with a $20 leather pouch and $10 screen protector. yet to get it pasted up, though. i think it was a relatively good deal. next on my sights are the travel charger, in-ear headphones and perhaps a universal dock or fm tuner. suggestions?

2006-07-12T13:55:00.000+08:00

i am now hooked on coldplay. after that wonderful sell-out concert on monday. i wish there was more though. they really do sound great when they play live and i think it was worth that $120 i paid to go watch. their live rendition of speed of sound, talk, clocks, the scientist and in my place was absolutely fabulous. hope they come back again to our shores in the not too distant future.

i took some pics of chris martin and company, will upload them soon. most are really poor attempts cos we were quite far from the stage, but there are some decent ones. (:

oh and if you haven't realised, i screwed my blocks.

2006-07-04T18:12:00.000+08:00

it doesn't take a genius to realise that i'm actually quite stupid, really. i feel like a dumbass. totally.

that line above was a total oxymoron.

2006-07-03T10:03:00.000+08:00

i'm back. though it's been super long. yes i know. i'm lazy. block tests were urgh. i'm screwed i guess? :S

I have been tagged by pokupine & jwq (gosh. two people?)

Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with 6 weird facts/things/habits about yourself, saying who tagged you. In the end you need to choose the 5 people to be tagged and list their names. No tag backs.

1. i like long bus rides. esp cos i get to stone on them. can be therapeutic, really.

2. i love singing. be it in the shower or in my room or wherever. i hear a nice song on the radio or something, i just start. or whenever i feel like it i break into song.

3. i like to stone? i can stone anywhere at home on the bus at lunch? yah.

4. i always sit on things without getting them done? haha. YES SLACK I KNOW.

5. i'm easily scared by horror movies. i mean, i was gripping the seat with fear during certain segments of the davinci code? esp those with silas around? YEAH.

6. i'm not a typical guy in the sense tht i actually enjoy shopping. YUP. heh.

LOL i tag (in no particular order)

1. claire
2. eeli
3. vickland
4. benjamin
5. pong

HAHAHA.

2006-06-19T10:45:00.000+08:00

ugh i really feel so lazy to blog!

2006-06-01T07:50:00.000+08:00

hmm. movie marathon in 2 days. watched 3 in 2 days, though 2 were 2005 movies which i rented from video ezy while the other was the da vinci code. not too bad a show, but i realised i did not understand quite a bit of what was going on. actually i should have read the book before watching. haha. so i went in without expecting much. yup. borrowing the book in any case! video ezy 3 dvds for $13.50 made me rent flightplan, fantastic 4 and i, robot on impulse. and i'm left with i, robot to watch.

holidays have begun (what holiday?) but then i've not begun studying seriously yet. gosh. what i have been doing for the past 2 days is slacking, seriously. monday was burnt in school doing photog stuff, tuesday was trying to catch up a bit of math and movie in the evening, while yesterday was movie marathon. ugh. perhaps its saturation that makes me less motivated to do anything.

anyway.. i feel less emo nowadays. good sign? i sure hope so. (:

2006-05-22T20:04:00.000+08:00

i'm going for my ns medical exam tmr morning. and as i type this, i'm suffering from a really bad migraine. urgh. hate them.

oh shit i just realised i totally forgot NJ funfair was on 20 may. what's happening to my memory? gosh. -___-"

2006-05-16T22:02:00.000+08:00

i have this weird pain at the back of my head. argh.

2006-05-13T21:34:00.000+08:00

hmm. time for a long post i guess? but first. i bought that billabong pencilcase. finally. another twenty bucks gone. but i hope its money well spent. haha. i need to stop spending, but up next i would like to get a pair of ripcurl slippers. realised i probably wouldn't look too nice in crocs sandals anyway. haha.

well, its been a week since the guitar concert ended. really, its been 1 year of great memories that culminate in this major event, one that really showed off how much each of us have put in and showed how much more substance we have. many people asked me why i joined a guitar ensemble? well, in a way its because i already have the instrument at home. so there's no startup costs. and in a way i also wanted to show myself i can play a musical instrument.

to think i did contemplate quitting as i didn't feel i could cope that well. but hey, i still pulled through all the same.

it all started in january 2005, really. back in ac. i wasnt interested in continuing on with ava so i decided to branch out. indeed, branch out i did. joined photog and decided to put my name down for guitar at the veryvery last minute when they were collecting orders for guitars. well. went for the orientations and practices, made friends and realised that hey, learning a musical intsrument from scratch didnt hurt that much. and yea, i ended up in guitar 1, playing mostly melodies. yeah. that initial encounter got me in love with guitar.

ended up in you-know-where after first 3 months. i decided to stick with guitar again, and that is where i met someone who i met beforehand at a friend's party. really a coincidence. and the fact that we clicked reasonably well did help to alleviate the hurt of not getting into VJ. and yea, i ended up in guitar 1 again! haha. this time, i'd have to play more chords though.. but it really didnt matter. occasionally i did get bored of guitar practice but well, if i was really that bored i wouldn't have the opportunity to type this.

then came camp. camp was quite fun i suppose. got to know the others better and bonded quite a fair bit as a result. and the preparations for the concert that was supposed to take place in july but never materialized. remember vividly jamming with a few other guys the song, "wake me up when september ends" by greenday. i played the bass, cos the bass part of the song was quite easy. (haha. im lazy).

many other small performances here and there in school, not too shabby. sometimes it can be said i only went for the people there but ah well, that's another thing. haha.

this year was totally crazy, though. its amazing how five months can really pass so fast. loads of changes took place. like a change of conductor, the amazing j1 intake shrinking to such a small number and others. but then. the love for guitar music kept us going i guess. camp in april was fun too, but sadly many people were missing. at least there was something though. haha.

and finally, concert! the buildup to it was of course, tiring. practicing on saturdays from 9-2pm were common, and the late nights too. hardly ever did i get home before 8pm. but well, i guess everything was worth it. we played our hearts out in the end, and did a spectacular job.

i will miss everyone and everything that took place, that's for sure.. (:

ROCK ON, SAJC GUITAR ENSEMBLE 2005-2006! (: (:

2006-05-08T21:31:00.000+08:00

so i gave in to my cravings and bought that FX creations wallet. hmm, $26 well spent? i sure hope so.

2006-05-04T23:07:00.000+08:00

ITS FINALLY OVER (: (:

all that hard work and practicing over the past few months have really paid off. we sounded great just now. though there was the occasional mess up here and there but things were fantastic. thanks everyone who went down to watch/support! greatly appreciated (:

2006-05-01T21:42:00.000+08:00

i think i'm burnt out. feeling braindead and stoned right now. not to mention that irritating sore throat which just won't go away.

think its the lack of rest + sleep. when was the last time i ever got to sleep in, anyway.

2006-04-27T21:15:00.000+08:00

i don't know what i'm doing, i don't know what to say anymore..

2006-04-23T21:58:00.000+08:00

im in a buying mood.

i went to royal sporting house at j8 just now for a walk. saw a nike football90 tee that is quite nice. 37 bucks and now im tempted to buy it.

then i went over to seiyu and looked at FX creations wallets. 26 bucks for a wallet which suits my needs. not bad. quite cheap too.

gosh. i want to buy these stuff. don't know what's come into me.

2006-04-18T18:08:00.000+08:00

i relish the thought of that day in november, when eveything will be over, when what i want can finally be attained. i've made it through a year already, i'm sure another 7 more months shouldn't be much of a problem..

2006-04-18T17:33:00.000+08:00

i need to rant. RAHHHH.

i feel inferior. gosh.

why are some people so successful in like everything they do?
why do some people seem oh-so-popular?

am i cut out for studies in a jc, that should be the most pressing question.

do i even deserve to be here?
how come every decision i make is a screwed up one that leaves me in misery?

in a nutshell,
WHY IS THERE SO MUCH POLITICS everywhere? can't we all just be at peace with one another?

it sure doesn't help that we did politics during gp lesson today..

so many unanswered questions, so many doubts, so many worries. so much frustration.

i'm super emo now. -.-

2006-04-11T19:58:00.000+08:00

i really love this song. its mind trick by jamie cullum (: really really good stuff

Jamie Cullum - Mind Trick

I missed the opportunity
to get you babe to stay with me.
Never thought, I'd regret the excuses that I've made
like a song, it will fade

If there's music in the night,
And it's really, really right,
It's the only thing I need.
it intoxicates your mind
All your troubles left behind
So come on and take my lead.
it's not just me who feels it
music plays a mind trick
watch me forget about missing you

so i put my feelings out to dry
love, one day again,
i'll have to try.
falling out, making up
it seems such a silly game
why do i never gain?

If there's music in the night,
And it's really, really right,
It's the only thing I need.
it intoxicates your mind
All your troubles left behind
So come on and take my lead.
it's not just me who feels it
music plays a mind trick
watch me forget about missing you

na na na's

If there's music in the night,
And it's really, really right,
It's the only thing I need.
it intoxicates your mind
All your troubles left behind
So come on and take my lead.
it's not just me who feels it
music plays a mind trick
watch me forget about missing you

2006-04-11T19:24:00.000+08:00

rahh i'm soo tired. gosh. im not in the mood to do anything at all. if that's the case how am i going to pull up my shit results. oh which reminds me. need to get a math tutor asap. yups. better get to my books soon.

stepping into school makes my mood change a total 180degrees into depression..

2006-04-09T22:18:00.000+08:00

and im back from 3 days of camp. haha. well, it was fun yet tiring at the same time. my previous blog entry was actually directed at a game i was supposed to plan. (which in the end did not turn out too well. haha) all's been said and done, its over already, and i really think we did a great job. looking forward to the june camp in a way. (:

LIFECONCERT on thurs really really rocked. it has special significance for me cos last year on this very day and very occasion i answered the altar call. and thus began my walk as a child of God (: i dare say that through this year i've grown quite substantially. (THOUGH there is sooo much more i can work on. yups..) really hope to see more people i know take that leap of faith and embark on that walk. (:

HAHA and oh did i mention i lost my voice? lol.

2006-04-06T23:40:00.000+08:00

i never knew planning a seemingly-simple game for camp could be such a nerve wracking business..

2006-04-05T22:41:00.000+08:00

over these few months i've come to realise that even if i do something, nothing comes out of it. well, either nothing at all, or nothing good. yup. it doesnt make a difference at all. perhaps its because i haven't been trying hard enough.

but i'm so exhausted from everything i find it hard to do anything anymore..

2006-04-04T16:49:00.000+08:00

its oh-so-nice when people bitch about you. shows you how "endeared" you are to that person's eyes. no, not that i have anything against people bitching about me. i know there is bound to be bitching here and there. BUT NOT WHEN THAT PERSON IS BLOODY IN FRONT OF YOU (though not right in front). and certainly not so loudly that the person himself can hear. that is really being extremely helpful.

if you have a problem with me. bring it up STRAIGHT to me. no point hiding it and gossiping and bitching about it. seriously. what use will it bring if you bitch and bitch about people. i used to bitch about people, now i don't because its pointless and all it does is hurt people. i just don't know what to do now. really. and i don't think i even have the energy to bother.

i have nothing much to say, and what i say will make no difference anyway. i've already lost all my emotions. i don't feel anything any longer. i don't care for anything any longer. things i used to enjoy doing have become mundane and frustrating. though i might cringe when i see something disgusting or start to tear on reading something sad, perhaps those are all just an act. i'm just an empty, emotionless shell right now.

7 more months and it'll be all over. FINALLY. i've already made it past 12 months, another 7 shouldn't be that hard.

on a side note, new blog layout. yes. after like at least 9 months.

2006-04-01T00:28:00.000+08:00

ARGH. just bloody screw everything. don't wanna do anything anymore. RAHHH

2006-04-01T00:08:00.000+08:00

i don't want to bother with anything anymore. im just exhausted out. its one of those moments where you don't feel like doing anything AT ALL. and don't feel like caring already. yupp. i'm getting this close to giving up alrd, really.

2006-03-27T09:04:00.000+08:00

i've been really lazy to update recently. oh and that reminds me. need to revamp this blog. i've had this skin since like, forever. i can't even remember when i put it up (yeah that shows how long it has been here already)

well. block tests are like finally over. except physics skill c & d spa later on. which shouldn't be much of a problem since its as good as we know the answers to the practical already. haha. block tests were absolutely horrid (as expected. which person would say it was great). math is a confirmed goner in my book. couldn't even do 20 marks worth of questions. pitiful isnt it.

econs was ok, however i screwed my essay. and chem was too much organic chem. blanked out and couldn't remember what i was studying the past week. urgh. not to mention that NMR spectroscopy question. no suprises i left it blank and only drew the structures instead. gosh. physics, like i said, had i studied more and practiced, i would probably have been able to do most of the questions.

haha. the after blocks activities were really more fun. pool on thurs and kbox on fri. initially apprehensive of going kbox since i don't listen to chinese music (except jay chou). but heck, i decided to go anyway. seriously, going with the right people makes all the difference. (: (:

2006-03-20T17:53:00.000+08:00

so. i've already bombed physics. what am i going to bomb next? stupid terms. grr.

2006-03-08T09:50:00.000+08:00

hmm. i'm tired. and bored. i know i haven't been blogging much lately, but its because i've been lazy to even open the blogger website. gee. it's been what, 2 weeks since i last blogged? and its 2 weeks closer to common tests too. urgh. whatever. and i still haven't begun studying yet! this is rubbish. think i'm gonna end up screwing my life? not a good thing.

there are times when i get so tired i wanna quit sch. now that alone is a scary thought. its been like, the first thing i do when i reach home is to fall asleep on the sofa or on the bed. i miss the carefree jc1 life. but oh well, things can't be helped sometimes.

2006-02-21T23:08:00.000+08:00

a note to some people..just because i don't seem bothered to say or do anything, it doesn't mean i don't care or am blind to what is going on. i know full well what is taking place.

there's a simple reason why everyone has two eyes..

2006-02-19T22:16:00.000+08:00

http://kevan.org/johari?name=b772er
the positive attributes test

http://kevan.org/nohari?name=b772er
the negative attributes test

go do.. tell me what u think. (:

2006-02-14T21:32:00.000+08:00

now rushing a 1500-2000 word GP essay due tmr. now stuck at a pathetic 1200 words or so. wonder how i'm going to crap out the remaining say, 500 words by tonight. especially when i'm stumped on what to write for the second part of the question.

anyway. that's besides the point.

valentine's day was today. celebrated it like how i did the past 18 years. no fuss, no hassle, no nothing. no gifts from people (though i did get some gifts for some ppl). although i do appreciate the little things the girls made for us. heh. thanks so much.

just one thing that sets me wondering. when would it be my turn to celebrate? soon? perhaps. how soon? its another matter..

2006-02-11T19:42:00.000+08:00

ok. so i gave in to my cravings and bought a crumpler bag (finally) just now. i know i'm lagging behind most people (but this is what the lack of funds does to you i guess) so yeah.

http://www.crumplersg.com/cgi-bin/crumpler/crumpler.cgi?bag=68 exact same colour i bought. for $179. with $100 coming out of my own pocket with my pay from working at SMU last year. so i guess this bag has to last for the next 2-3 years? hmm.

2006-02-04T20:39:00.000+08:00

i think i feel much much better now. thanks everyone for their help and advice and kind words and stuff (: really appreciate it. well, the past week has been hectic. cos cny is coming and there's lots of projects to do for photog. heh. and guitar concert is coming up too. must really practice the 6 pieces that we have to perform..

its tiring how sch can be sometimes. lol there still are moments where i don't feel like doing anything. all i want to do is sit there and stone or just sleep. yeps. anyway i'm not sleeping now otherwise i wouldn't be here right. but seriously everyone's getting emotional these few weeks. myself included. possibly cos of many many things that happen. so maybe we should all take a breather, relax and enjoy the little things instead of worrying about this and that..

so yeps. ends my little tirade for tonight..

2006-01-21T18:57:00.000+08:00

i.feel.totally.like.SHIT. urgh. my mind is a whirl. i don't understand what is going on any more. even as i type here i don't understand what i'm typing. -_____- my mind's a total blank. BLANK. i'm like numb to everything around me now. gee.

things will get better soon... i can only hope.

2006-01-19T21:48:00.000+08:00

i've a few songs perpetually stuck in my head now. haha. stuff like stickwitu by the pussycat dolls, breakaway by kelly clarkson, don't love you no more (i'm sorry) by craig david among other things. lol.

other than that, i'm basically exhausted. no two ways about it. :S

2006-01-13T23:46:00.000+08:00

lazy-to-blog syndrome bites again. not that i don't feel like blogging though, but its just that i've been super super busy with school stuff the past 2 weeks, considering that orientation just ended and now we have to plan CCA orientations as well. been leaving school late this past week and sleeping at 12 every night in a bid to clear my tutorials. heh.

other than that, orientation was fun. though i'm neither a jc1 student nor an OGL. (: well, it sure was great reliving my memories of being a jc1 student last year (which seems so long ago. sheesh. things go by way too fast. its 2006 alrd. argh) and of course, finale rocked the house down. pity that there was no campfire though. that would have been splendid.

CCA sign up day wasnt that bad after all. 60 ppl signed up to join guitar ensemble (although i'm sure most will disappear after a few sessions) and 47 for photog (crazy man, but i'm sure the same phenomenon will occur) and after the first 3 months (if its still called that since results are gonna be out in mid feb) things will change..

other than that, school has been tiring. class is still the same as ever. that much politics. yeah. go figure. i just miss 1sd6 first intake 2005. too many special memories and we were more united than what i'm seeing now (though we never did have a successful class outing, we did have a relatively successful party. heh). yeah.

oh and i know my layout is getting dated. time for a change, yes. i hope to get something nice out SOON...

2006-01-03T21:50:00.000+08:00

first day of school and i'm already half dead. i hope this will not be the case after orientation. well, watching the J1s having orientation day 1 today sure reminded me of exactly one year ago (: all the memories and stuff. one year has gone by far too fast. i feel so old. haha

but hey, there's so much to look forward to. i can legally buy alcohol and learn to drive. haha. but too bad the island in the northeast beckons right after A levels. argh. haha. too bad i guess.

2005-12-25T21:50:00.000+08:00

ok everyone i'm back. merry christmas to all although its like super late already. christmas is almost over :S which signals 1 week to school. NZ was fun though i've been uber lazy to update recently and it will probably remain like this until i don't feel so lazy anymore. vicious cycle i know. ahahaha. shit i'm getting random. urgh.

2005-12-18T09:03:00.000+08:00

hello everyone. in nz now. my internet time runs out in 4 mins so yeah, that's about it from me. haha. enjoying myself loads. be back in 5 days! :S

2005-12-08T12:33:00.000+08:00

i'm bored.

nz in 2 days. don't miss me. haha. (:

2005-12-05T11:28:00.000+08:00

haven't blogged in a week. haha i feel so lazy. again, i wanna thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday even though its like a few days late. its greatly appreciated! haha. other than that the past week has been quite slack. went up to KL for a day just for shopping and had guitar chalet.

guitar chalet at aloha loyang was quite fun although it did get boring in the early hours. didn't play much mahjong and bridge. bbq from like 8-10 and then we went out to pasir ris park at 11pm to play ball and get lost in a maze. aft ball, went to downtown east cheers to get drinks and returned back to the chalet. haha. now i know some guitarists can be damn lame after all. think a certain john gabriel utanes. LOL. my gosh while we were playing truth or dare in a bedroom he kept shouting "name the hottest girl in the OC! woohooo!" to every truth question. jeez. nearly died of laughter.

slept from 5am to 8am, woke up for macs breakfast, then went home. quite fun. although carrying a ball and a mahjong set around for an hour isn't exactly fun in my opinion. haha.

KL on friday was great too. i haven't been there in 4 yrs so the place sure has changed quite a bit. ended up at KLCC for shopping. not too bad the clothes there and relatively affordable though. stuff like quiksilver and mambo is more expensive in KL than singapore for some odd reason. ahh never mind. didn't buy anything from those stores anyway. haha. left KLCC at 6.30pm, got stuck in a terrible jam and reached the bus terminal at 7.15pm. only to find out the bus was delayed till 9 (oh yes, i went up by car). anyway the bus journey made up for the delay. it was quite enjoyable having a personal tv to yourself and a comfortable leather seat.

i will go overseas again without my parents soon! hopefully i will be able to go to say, hong kong. haha. off to NZ this sat so this may be my last post till i come back.

till then, have a great holiday! (:

2005-11-28T09:20:00.000+08:00

thanks everyone for the birthday wishes so far.

had a great time with my cell group yesterday at suntec city carl's junior restaurant. ate till i was so stuffed and couldn't eat anymore. thanks for the meal and the book guys. really, really appreciate it. (:

thanks to everyone who sent messages by sms or on msn messenger! in no order:

francesca (super early cos she went overseas. haha)
khee ngiap
tovya
samantha
kaisin
alexis
aundrea
keng wee (thanks dude)
joachim (thanks too!)
ron
ianpang
ishak
peici
sook fern
brandon
gloria
peisi
fangsheng

apologize if i left anyone out. i really appreciate everything! (:

and i'm sure more are to come. thanks everyone (:

2005-11-22T21:41:00.000+08:00

i feel so drained. days of walking around for job interviews that make lots of empty promises (lots of $$, easy hours, flexi hours, that kind of crap) and being conned twice (thanks to some commission-based work. bah) makes one a tired person. and i wonder why i'm doing all this. is it for the ipod? or is it to buy the stuff i want like clothes, new pencilcase and stuff? i'm becoming so materialistic. argh.

tip of the day : never do commission-based work. it's a big scam out there. especially selling beauty products and charity tix oh cos noone fucking buys them. GRRR. i really feel like a condom after sex (hidden line : USED). that company marketing the tix is so bloody creepy. their morning session involves people shouting weird stuff to every question. and i wonder how they manage to sell one consignment of tickets in like 2 hours. the beauty package one was much worse.

i think i'd rather be a waiter. no commission-based shit. just serving and taking orders and cleaning tables. pity the long hours and not-that-good pay rates. ohwells. rather than not selling anything and not get a single cent. kinda miss the SMU job. it was fun and it paid well. ohwells. maybe i should email the professor again.

seriously, come to think about it, what can a person with O level qualifications expect out of a temporary position. nothing much, really. all that an O level qualification gives you a chance to sit at a stall, be a busboy or sell charity tickets. really. after my A levels i will not hesitate to approach ducktours and be a tourguide for them. because that job really is quite fun. but that's still quite a looong way off so yeah.

went out with tovya and kS yesterday. coffee at cream bistro next to THAT CD SHOP at pacific plaza. yeah it was fun. then went roaming around taka for a present for a friend of kS. ahahaha. she finally decided on something aft like 3hrs. yup. we should do more of this kind of get together. ahaha i'm high. :D

oh and pw is finally over. yay.

2005-11-20T12:12:00.000+08:00

i think i'm addicted to mahjong. i've been playing like every week and with overnight sessions to boot. ahahahaa.

2005-11-16T15:34:00.000+08:00

this is super funny. go view at http://www.jeffiscool.com/numanuma.html

2005-11-13T19:05:00.000+08:00

YEAH my PW oral presentation is finally finally over. think i was slightly nervous during the presentation part but my classmates said i owned the Q&A segment. haha just waiting for the results next year i guess. so what's left is I&R which is due on wednesday. and after that it's goodbye to 9988 (the PW subject code) for the rest of my life. (argh they should just scrap this subject, seriously)

been working at SMU on tuesday and wednesday. basically i've been helping this professor doing data entry for his research project. converting paper surveys into codes on an Excel spreadsheet. sounds easy, but not when you have 235 + 50 scripts (there are 2 different surveys) and each survey is like 10 pages thick. managed to finish everything in 17 hours with miminal errors and got paid handsomely. ipod fund has increased to 150 from 0 previously. haha. now looking for more jobs so i can buy that 30gb ipod video which costs only $504 (student price) by the end of the year. haha.

talking about that ipod, i don't know which is more worth it. the 4gb nano at $403 or the 30gb video at $504 (that is, if i'm even going to get one or able to afford one in the first place). i only have 3 gigs of mp3s in my comp so i don't need the space of the 30gb. but then again i top up a 100 bucks to get 26gb more space. so in quite a dilemma. argh. ohwells

anyone looking for temp staff pls contact me immediately! ahaha.

2005-11-05T16:03:00.000+08:00

wow. i haven't blogged in a week. this is what happens when i'm too busy the past week with so much activities.. haha.

well, school is finally over. but then again there's still the dreaded PW. my oral presentation is on the 10th of november (thursday) and there will be a chief moderator for my group. wonder what this will mean. shan't think negative thoughts as yet i guess. haha. well after the oral presentation pw is more or less done with! the subject that wasted about 7 months of our time is finally over.

chinese AO paper is over too! got only 2 out of the 5 words correct.. not too sure about the rest. the paper was ok, overall, and hopefully i'll manage to pass so there'll be no more chinese for the rest of my life. how much most students hate chinese is probably because of the way the subject is examined and taught in schools.

went out for a class outing with the usual gang again (not much of a class isn't it), first to cine, where we couldn't decide on a show to watch, then to lido and finally to le meridien hotel (monstercue) for pool and slacking at the le meridien food court there after. it was generally fun, pity the small amount of people..

overnight mahjong + bridge was fun. i just learnt these games the very day itself. thanks sam. haha. although i was quite stoned the next evening cos i had about an hour of sleep only. imagine playing mahjong till 3.30am then walking out for supper and walking back to play more mahjong. haha yeah!

oh and i had the opportunity to perform at last night's st. andrew's charity gala dinner to raise funds for the building of SAV. in case you don't know, SAJC is moving to potong pasir next year. i was on duty as photographer and had to perform guitar pieces too last night, making for lots of running around. well, performing in front of tharman is probably a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

i wasn't even scheduled to perform in the first place!! haha. cos some ppl decided to slack while one other guy was sick. so yeah i was a last minute replacement of sorts. thankfully i still remembered some portions of the pieces if not i'd be making a big fool of myself. haha. the 10 minutes or so were probably one of the more nervous moments of my life. well it was a success so that's good enough for me. went supper after that at lido macs and off home with francesca thereafter.

i'm quite glad this week is over. time for a well-deserved break!

2005-10-31T20:43:00.000+08:00

hmm. i just feel so stoned all of a sudden. and feeling extremely extremely bored too. wonder why.

2005-10-27T09:37:00.000+08:00

my nose is peeling!! arrgh

2005-10-26T18:17:00.000+08:00

sentosa on monday was fun.

haha. though i got roasted it was somehow worth it in a way i guess. it sure was fun. spent about 9 solid hours there with about 6 on the beach (explaining how i got roasted especially badly cos i went topless and didnt apply sunscreen. haha) wells i really had a great time just slacking in the sea, talking nonsense and playing games in the water. next time i go i'll remember to apply sunscreen. haha. if not i'll suffer for another 3 days at least due to the extremely red back. lol. i got more than what i bargained for. (:

this wk is the last wk of school! j1 life sure has ended very very fast. its like it never even began properly i guess. i still remember the times in ac, the good and the bad, like it was still yesterday. still remember vividly everything that happened in the first 3 months, from the birthday celebrations to the times spent slacking by the poolside with our guitars and all that.. really wonderful those 3 months were.

not to forget sa too. everything that's happened in the past 9 months. from ponning lectures and other odd activities to the stoning breaks in the cafe and many more. the memories sure are overwhelming (shant really talk about the bad stuff i guess. haha). and yes, it all happened as if it were yesterday. and to think next year i'll be in J2 and about to enlist in NS. things sure happen way too fast. (:

cheena AO paper next week. not like i'm caring though. and there's still op on the 10th of november. after op we can kiss goodbye to pw. yeah! the subject which wasted 6 perfectly good months of our life. hahaha.

(:

2005-10-20T18:01:00.000+08:00

i was bored so i decided to do this yet again...

You are tending to pursue your objectives with concentrated intensity and it would seem that whatever obstacles may come into your path, you will stick to your guns and will not allow yourself to be deflected from your purpose. You are striving to achieve recognition and what is more - you deserve it.

For some time now you may have been subjected to considerable physical illness and or emotional distress. This may have taken a severe toll and you feel both physically and mentally worn out. Your self esteem has been reduced and you now need a peaceful environment which will permit you to effect full recovery.

Loneliness is soul destroying and at this time you feel lost and lonely, perhaps it is because you feel so frustrated that you are prepared to go out of your way to become emotionally involved with someone who could accept you for what you are. You are egocentric, antagonistic and quick to take offense, although it must be said, you can control your pent-up up emotion and thus avoid open conflict.

You are experiencing extreme emotional disappointment because it would seem that a particular relationship is no longer running smoothly. You would like to break away from this involvement completely and yet, if this were to happen, then its possible that something very important to you would be lost. You are in a quandary. You are not sure which way to turn. So on the one hand, you would like to free yourself from this attachment altogether, yet on the other, you do not want to lose anything nor risk uncertainty and the possibility of further disappointment. These contradictory and opposing emotions are now causing you considerable stress but you are putting on a brave face - pretending that you don't care.

Anxiety and a restless antagonism, as a result of unfulfilled emotional needs, have resulted in considerable stress. You are trying to overcome this by working and playing extremely hard - but at all times you have your future in mind. You are a worker and as a result of your inherent enthusiasm you cannot fail.

2005-10-19T18:16:00.000+08:00

oh wow. i haven't blogged in ages. haha yeah. nothing's really new other than the fact that i barely got retained. in other words i got promoted. -duh- yup, scraped through with 32 points. thanks to my less than sightly grades..

chem O
maths O
econs E
physics E
GP B3
chinese B4

yup. quite bad. somehow i don't have the motivation to mug during the holidays to improve on these grades. urgh. urgh :S and not to forget the dreaded pw. final copy of written report due on friday and my group is like struggling to complete it. sucks big time. too bad pw won't be scrapped anytime soon i guess..

and open house on sat was fun. although i didnt get to visit the VJ open house which i wanted to so badly, i did enjoy myself at SA. the past week sure was busy. lots of things to settle, lots of running around to do, and not to forget the class phototaking sessions. ohwells. one more week and 2 days to the holidays!

ohwait! there's the dreaded chinese! boo. but i don't think i'll be studying for it anyway so yeah. heh. i'm aiming to get B3/B4 for it. but seems a bit hard. ohwells. (:

2005-10-10T09:50:00.000+08:00

i've not blogged properly in ages. i feel lazy. super lazy. haha. well. promos are over. and now it seems i have too much free time so i don't know what to do. lol. except for dreaded dreaded pw of course. utter waste of time pw is. seriously.

i am beginning to worry if i can get promoted next year =x lets say if i don't get promoted i might go to SP aeronautical engineering or SP biz or something, still weighing my options.. ohwells. i shouldn't be thinking of such stuff now. leave that for the future i guess. haha.

lately i'm beginning to feel high at the weirdest times of the day. i don't know why. i think its mood swings. i feel high now too. haha. im a bit crazy ever since promos began. heh.

physics spa later. skill b. not too bad since we've been doing lots of practice practicals. yup.

2005-10-06T12:42:00.000+08:00

Utmost in your mind is success. You are constantly seeking stimulation and a life full of experience. You are trying to 'grow' and above all you need to develop freely and to shake off the shackles of self-doubt. You are an enthusiastic individual, full of life with the desire to live intensely. You like contact with others and are enthusiastic by nature. You are receptive to anything new, modern or intriguing. Your interests are many and you are likely to expand your fields of activities. You are optimistic about the future and you deserve every success because deep down you are a 'winner'.

You are working extremely hard - perhaps even above and beyond the call of duty. You are preparing for the future and therefore trying to build a firm trouble-free foundation upon which you may base all of your dreams and aspirations.

You are a demanding egocentric and therefore quick to take offense. This attitude makes people feel somewhat inadequate when in your company and so it is no wonder that at times you feel alone and unwanted.

It is said that we are all influenced by our environment and indeed you are no exception. It would seem at this time that even though you may be surrounded by people, you are experiencing an inner loneliness. Fortunately you are sufficiently strong minded to realise that life has a great deal to offer you and that you may miss your share of experiences if you fail to make the best use of every opportunity. You therefore pursue your objectives with a fierce intensity and are prepared to commit yourself deeply and readily. You believe that whatever you would like to do or think 'you can do' - you do! It is because of this attitude that you may be considered by others as arrogant and even conceited, but its fair to say that whatever it is that you really want out of life you will put your heart and soul into it and will not take 'NO' for an answer.

The fear that you may not be able to fulfill or realize all of your ambitions makes you work and play hard. The thought of being prevented from achieving the things you want leads you to play your part with frantic fervor.

wow. i think it's quite true. anyway. haha. take the test at http://www.colorgenics.com/sps/index.cfm

2005-09-29T21:22:00.000+08:00

oh no. i think i'm screwed. real bad. =x

2005-09-27T15:51:00.000+08:00

gp's finally over and done with. the compo section was quite ok, but i think i lost out a few marks for neglecting to mention some points. compre was a killer though. sheesh.

i'm sooo sleepy.. wish i had the luxury of being able to not do anything..

2005-09-25T21:50:00.000+08:00

heh. i'm starting to like the visa ad starring richard gere (yes, the one set in india with all the birds and stuff). no idea why but it's really an ad that transcends all cultures. yeahh. the music is nice, the theme is nice and yeah, i like it. (:

seriously too stoned nowadays. arrgh.

2005-09-23T21:57:00.000+08:00

i haven't gone towning in ages. there's simply too much that i want to buy. i'll probably go after promos. then it'll be like the first 3 mths all over again..

-crazy rant-

2005-09-19T21:27:00.000+08:00

sloth. one of the seven deadly sins. what i'm experiencing right now. sloth. i don't have the mood to do anything but to just stone. i've lost my motivation to do anything now. i feel miserable most times. how to do anything in this state i ask you? i wish i could pull myself up but its just so, so hard..

2005-09-19T20:34:00.000+08:00

i think i must be invisible. noone seems to give a damn about me at all. noone gives a damn about what i say or what i do (or what i'm not doing). i am already frustrated enough by everything that's going on. i really really wonder what exactly is wrong with myself. seriously.

perhaps i should have stayed on in ac where i could have been happier. but then again there's no time for regrets. oh well.

2005-09-19T14:08:00.000+08:00

i'm just very pissed off and fed up as it is right now..

2005-09-14T21:59:00.000+08:00

i seem to be losing my focused state of mind. i can never seem to concentrate fully on one thing and this has been affecting the activities i've been doing lately. i frankly have no idea why i am so easily distracted nowadays when in the past, i could be sitting there doing my work and totally oblivious to the world around me. perhaps its the events that have taken place over the months that have caused this change. :S

on a more pleasant note, i passed my mathematics lecture test. i've not passed a single maths test since i entered SAJC so far. makes for a change i guess. haha. (:

2005-09-07T09:16:00.000+08:00

another new week means another week gone by and another week to promos. argh. promos that i haven't amply prepared for. somehow everything feels so surreal in a sense. nothing really makes sense in a way.. the days are passing by so quickly and are so hectic i lose track of everything. of course there are really slow days too but these are few and far between..

went back to cat high last wednesday with the cat high ppl currently in SA. we ended quite late, at around 10am while pple were already back at cathigh around 10am. eventually we got back at 10.30 and yea, it sure felt great to be back in the place i spent most of my formative years in. seeing all the familiar faces and back in a familar enviroment. ohwells. as usual most of our batch ended up in the field after meeting teachers. heh.

wonder why the weeks and the days and the months seem to go by so fast. just last year i was grumbling that it took forever to get by one day. and this year one day ends so fast. it seems like we were all having orientation only yesterday. and that yesterday i still was hanging around my my ex-AC classmates. yeah. tooo fast. way too fast.

2005-08-30T21:02:00.000+08:00

6 days since i last blogged. sure has been a long time i guess. nothing much has happened as usual. end of term is approaching. really a great relief. but then again promos and PW looms again. urgh. not good omens they are..

2005-08-24T21:26:00.000+08:00

i am simply very vexed and irritated by the amount of politics that takes place in singapore schools, especially junior colleges. it is extremely so when you're on the receiving end of it.

2005-08-23T22:53:00.000+08:00

eeks. my eyesight has worsened quite dramatically. 100 degrees in a year is quite scary. in the end i had to spend $170 on lens + frame. yups. collecting my new glasses on thursday afternoon. chose a frame that hopefully suits my face shape (something squarish. yup). just hope i don't look too ancient.

been doin a fair bit of soul searching and thinking with the help of wq. wonder what i'd do without her bluntness sometimes. would i still be trapped in delusion all the time? would i still be an asshole most of the time? it's time to change, and prolly only for the better..

2005-08-21T20:33:00.000+08:00

what a hectic week. so many events to plan for, so many things to do. did a powerpoint presentation for the guitar seniors farewell party. many pple said it was quite a good job, perhaps i should upload it somewhere for all to view? the only problem is that the file is 28 megs in size. haha. will take years to download i guess.

exhausted. been having mood swings like crazy. one moment i'm happy then the next i'm all down again. argh. nothing seems to help. kinda sucks. i have a fear i'm really going to lose my mind soon. yet i don't think i need psychiatric help. it's not that serious after all.. think i'm over-reacting again as usual. sheesh.

had lunch at carl's jr marina square outlet today. quite a welcome change from burger king and mcdonalds and the like. the burgers are huge. so huge one combo meal costs $9.70, but then again the size and taste makes up for it. drinks are refillable so that isn't too bad too. (: try it out if u must.

crap. physics spa tmr. and not to forget promos are slightly more than a month away. :S

2005-08-16T09:22:00.000+08:00

blogging from the school library. its been boring so far and i expect it to be boring the rest of the day. yawn.

think i'll place a password filter on this blog soon. it's far too risky to leave it open to all. apologise but it is a neccesity for my safety. so yeah. (:

2005-08-12T20:56:00.000+08:00

my gosh. i just realised i messed up my physics practical AFTER i left the lab. argh. and its not a data collection error. its a calculation error! forgot to calculate the period of oscillation (since i roughly got about 4-5 oscillations for a period of 20secS). so my graph is screwed big time. and its counted for CA.

argh. oh wells. its over. i'm thankful it isn't SPA..

2005-08-10T20:33:00.000+08:00

blah. how nice.. just wasted much of the long holiday. wasn't that bad though. did go out and have fun. hehe yesh. will blog more soon (:

2005-08-05T21:03:00.000+08:00

whoa. this week has been so exhausting. so much has gone by in the past week that i can't even stop and think through properly everything that has taken place.

been keeping late hours in school lately. been reaching home at around 7pm earliest. the only consolation was on wednesday. reached home at 5, if that's early by anyone's standards. sure is tiring. quite exhausted currently cos i've been reaching home around 8pm the past 2 days.

had a SIF international students symposium to attend over the past two days as well, on the topic "the asian century : possibility or pipe dream?". various speakers from all over Asia came to speak on their views on diverse subjects such as the rise of India and China, whether Singaporeans are heartlanders or global citizens, and the link (haha well you get the drift). tiring, yes, but enriching at the same time..

performing for the national day concert on monday. i'm so done for. can't play the song properly. urgggh.

2005-08-02T21:25:00.000+08:00

i am so FUCKING pissed. call me sensitive, call me paranoid, whatever. what happened today during a particular tutorial merely reaffirms what i suspected all along. why does incidents of such nature always happen to me? i simply cannot understand any longer. why why why?

shall elaborate. during that particular tutorial, we were subdivided into groups by picking colour-coded ice-cream sticks. happened to pick a yellow-coloured one. some other person also happened to pick up another stick of the same colour. when the envelope containing them passed around that person (lets call this person X for easier reference) again, X replaced the stick with another of a different colour. sign of trying to avoid me i predicted. i kept quiet.

what happened next was really the catalyst. another person Y, said to a person in my group, Z, loudly across the room "good luck". it doesn't take a smart person to realise what the connotations are. it was so idiot-proof and so blatant that i really got pissed off. i kept quiet again.

i don't want to kick up a fuss. i don't want to make mountains out of molehills. i don't see the point in doing so. what's the use? it will probably result in these people avoiding me even more. why waste energy and waste time over something so trivial? however what happened today really made me feel angry and hurt. like i said this isn't the first time this has happened to me. and its not that i want it to happen as well.

in a nutshell, what's going on has made me realise that i should appreciate even more what i currently have. i am indeed grateful for the close friends that are ever-so-present in my life. i can forgive but it will take time to forget. if these people (who cause the problem) are out to make my life hell, all i can say is that they will never succeed.

i am so angry yet i don't and probably won't show it.

2005-08-01T21:44:00.000+08:00

bahh. the feeling that everyone in the world is against me has set upon my mind again. this sucks. why am i always thinking this way? i know something is wrong, definitely. and what happened today at a particular bus stop further reinforces this notion.

perhaps i shouldn't be typing this out in case the people read this (however unlikely). if you want the nitty gritty please contact me. urgh. this is horrible.

2005-07-27T20:06:00.000+08:00

and learning fest has kicked off. for those who don't know, it's a 2 day event where saints have no lessons and can choose 4 courses to attend throughout the 2 days (one from the four categories of i-forgot-what. haha). yeps. signed up for

french is fun (thursday)
impress at first sight (today)
URA visit (today)
voice development (thursday)

impress at first sight was interesting. now know what to do and what not to do i guess. haha. URA visit? well, i chose it because i hadn't the slightest idea on what to choose (stuff like the car clinic and other courses i wanted to go for ran out of vacancies! ): sucks)

well ok, i'll be back tmr. haha.

2005-07-25T10:18:00.000+08:00

in school now. and i'm sooo bloody stoned today. lack of sleep. argh.